Over the last few years myself, family
and friends have been invaded by a thankless
life taking decease.
Cancer.
A few years back myself and wife lost our
nephew at the age of six then later my granddad
was diagnosed with lung cancer and then
the sad loss of one of my best mates mums
she was strong all the way until the very
last day and even when she let go we knew
she was in peace that was one year ago another
life was stolen from us.
It really hurt I helt sick from the bottom
my sole nothing we could or will do will
bring them back I felt so much for my mate
he was very close to his mother still to
this day he holds his head up high I'm so
proud of him as I know I could never.
The questions run wild in your head why
them? while there's people out there rapeing,
killing and such like. I was so very very
angry I wanted revenge someone to blame
but there's no.
Years gone by things don't hurt as much
and at least I can now reflect on the good
things that life gives namely a good wife,
family, friends and carp fishing!
not necessarily in that order I may I add
; ).
We have all been doing little bits here
and there making a bit of money for the
local cancer ward, charity matches, abseils
but not really making enough well that's
what I though anyway.
It was Wednesday and as always I went to
the local shop to purchase my weekly carptalk
before work and while browsing the pages
rather than get on with my days graft I
fell upon Stoney and Friends fish in Yately.
Even though I live in Ipswich I thought
to myself this is the perfect opportunity
to really make a difference and not only
that I would get the chance of fishing the
complex and maybe even banking a few.
It's funny really as my mother and father
in law only live two minuets down the road
from the complex for over five years and
I had yet to even step a foot on the sacred
grounds of the giants.
So off it went first class post two cheques
for stoney and friends one for me and one
for my life long mate Ash.
Only thing left to do know was to try and
rob some innocent bypasses of there hard
earned money!
Like that was ever going to happen!
I only had four weeks so I had to get to
work sharpish it never occurred to me how
tight people can be. I went about asking
just about anyone I could but every time
I was asked
"so what our you doing??"
What do you mean what am I going to do in
exchange for there money it's for charity!
Then it sunk in I wasn't doing anything
but badgering them.
I could hardly say I'm going off for a weekends
fishing and an almighty pissup oh and will
you give me money to do so!
It's not painful enough for anyone to want
to give you money to just have a good time
I knew then that I had to do something quite
special.
So what the hell I'll be a woman for a day
how hard can that be? suddenly people wanted
to know I typed up a front page for the
sponsor forms that went something like
I'M A LADY
Well for the day anyway yes it's true I
want to be a woman!
I woke up the other day and realised that
my life could not be fulfilled until such
a feat had been accomplished so on the last
Friday of the month I will be coming out
for the first time and in true "DIVA"
style I want your money.
It worked suddenly all who new me wanted
to help I contacted the local paper and
they ran a half page spread it was great
I was making money the only thing left for
me to do was to actually go though with
my new commitment.
The day came quicker than a blink of an
eye and sure enough my wife had me sitting
at her vanity desk slapping on more make
up than a local tart I looked down right
gorgeous.
Half eight came and as I walked out my door
all but all was out getting in there cars
to join the rat race just like me but it
was nice to see them drive down the road
with a smile on there face it's not every
day they see a stunner like this!
All the way to work I was in stitches as
I watched the grafters builders and such
like swing round to have a good look at
this blonde as she drove past only to see
there faces in true astonishment as I gave
them a little toot on my horn as they see
this rough looking bird with a fag in his/her
gob it was something else I can tell you.
I duly parked up some 100 meters away from
work purposefully so every one could see
I wanted as much attention as possible so
that I may be able to persuade them to part
with there money I was tooted several times
as I stumbled along to work I loved it laughing
all the way and as I walked into the office
a bellow of woof whistles went into the
air as well as a thousand mobile phone clicking
away.
Lunch came round and I decided to take a
trip to the sandwich shop just for a laugh
I turned up and saw a bunch of builders
parked up out side this was the only time
I felt a little uneasy I knew if I was to
have the piss taken out of me this was the
time thing is I don't really know if they
thought I was the real McCoy because as
I passed they all parted out of the way
in total silence and as I entered the shop
they to served me just like any other I
was not having that and proceeded to mug
all who was in the shop to!.
The day ended and it was a good one had
made plenty and was now happy it was all
over now for the good part I thought to
myself
Yately here I come.
Tell you what though lads I don't envy thoughs
ladies of ours. them bras and thongs don't
half chafe!!!!!!
Mark Mann
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